Life and Me... Memoirs of a church girl

I used a big word today: Kaleidoscope.  If I were to play 4 pictures and one word, that would be my word for today. That would be the word that Grammarly would most likely flag in my vocabulary today. I feel many things today, things that I didn't expect to feel, things that I have to allow myself to feel even though I know everyone has passed round a list of expected feelings and thoughts that they expect me to choose from.  Picture1: My last office mate and I. Picture 2: My first office mates and I. Today is my last day at a job I have had for 3 years and 3 months. Actually, 3 years, 3 months, and 8 days when I began work there. 3 years of highs and lows, questioning myself, wondering, and second-guessing. 3 years of stumbling, learning,  success and becoming good at what I do. 3 years of earning my stripes and asserting myself to myself. For 3 years I have loved, I have worked, I have learned, I have grown, I have invested my life, and today, it all comes to an end. Th...

My flag flew at half mast this week. I lost a friend. It still sounds strange because we have not seen in the longest age. Everyone I mean everyone had something nice and pretty to say about her. I don't know if I have ever seen her cry. She was an encourager, a friend, a sister. Daisy : "fresh, wholesome, and energetic" image and that truly was our Daisy. When I think of the thing we will miss about her, I also think of the things we are grateful for in her life. Two weeks ago I would have been scared but today and now, I have peace that she is alright. God loves her (present continuous) and for me that is enough. I celebrate her life, her love, her warmth, her legacy, her kids, her home and even as every time I remember her I just cry there's this deep seated loss like I will no longer hear her praise God for her family milestones, I will no longer see her smile in mischief over something new. What i remember is her swaying with block s...

So i love looking at wedding pictures. For me its a beautiful thing to see all the effort put into creating new beginnings.  Particularly love wedding photographers because you must be a beautiful person to be able to capture most of the emotions that go into the whole event.  The way it is solemn and beautiful at the same time, the exchange of vows, the preparation to lose yourself and identity to someone else.  The selflessness of being willing to share your life with someone that you have no guarantee will turn out alright but you just believe that as long as there's you it is fine.  The loss of a parent that gives away a child, you can never tell if your child just brought home a paedophile or an insane person and is passing some weird heritage into your lineage, i mean their children will be your grandchildren. But you have to trust that on the dark and gloomy days they will have each other and they will be enough. The couple that says the vo...